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Big. Bad. Eww.

March 28, 2012

“Large and in charge” is the phrase of the day.

No – I’m not referencing a person. Or the boss man. Or ‘the man’. I’m talkin’ animals, baby.

If you’ve been following me on my blourney (blog journey), you’ve seen a few freaky animal stories already (like this one, this one and this one).

You know these lines:

“And then something went BUMP!
How that bump made us jump!
We looked! Then we saw him step in on the mat!
We looked! And we saw him! The Cat in the Hat!
And he said to us, “Would you like to see this nine-pound rat?”

Oh — was that version not familiar to you?  I edited the end a little.

But by now, I’m sure you’ve guessed part 1 of the story, you smart little blog-follower.

Traipsing around Florida is a stubborn, excellent-at-breeding-and-surviving group of rats. No, they’re not the kind you see in your garage, or even the disgusting ones that chill on the subway tracks.  No no.

They are giant Gambian pouched rats.  Did I mention that they are gigantor?  In fact, they can grow to be about 9 pounds…essentially the size of Sir Winstonfluff, your cat.  Apparently they were imported from Africa as pets a ways back, and in 2003 they were banned…so this breeder dude, being super super smart, released a bunch of them into the wild in Florida.

Now, they’re procreating.  Obviously.  And as far as that’s concerned — these guys can produce 20 babies in 9 months.  That is like a lot more times than humans.  So essentially, they’re reproducing so much, and so quickly, that they’re impossible to get rid of.

OH THERE’S A POSITIVE HERE THOUGH  — apparently the gigantic pythons in Florida eat these suckers…so that helps thin the crowd.   But, of course, then you have to worry about a growing population of frighteningly huge snakes.

So basically…IT NEVER ENDS!

Now, if the superrats aren’t bananasss enough for you, let’s shift from turf to surf.

Recently, a fisherman from New Zealand got himself the ultimate catch: a 738-pound Pacific bluefin tuna.  Now, that’s a heck of a lot of tuna.  And he coulda made a heck of a lot of money (the last one around that size that was caught landed around $1 mill.).

Oh…EXCEPT for the fact that he’s not allowed to, based on a New Zealand law that states you can’t sell fish that was caught on a registered recreational boat…sshhhuuckksssssssss.

Well, let’s hope the poor guy at least gets to set the world record for largest tuna caught.

And if that doesn’t happen, he still has the personal satisfaction of being a total badass.  Why?  Because he caught that fishy in a small tin boat, using a plain old fishing pole.

Seriously, that’s pretty impressive.  And I’m saying that as a vegetarian.  I am super impressed.  But I also kind of don’t believe it’s even possible.  I mean, I don’t understand the science behind like weight, or physics, or fishing, but it seems…unlikely.  I’m thinking he got the fish drunk.  I don’t know.  I guess we’ll never know.  It’ll just be between that man and the fish he’s going to mount on his wall.

Bananasss.

This child is clearly not as frightened of this anaconda as he should be. I wonder what happened after this picture was taken?

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