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Befuddlement – GOLF?!

May 2, 2012

There are a few things I will never understand completely:

  • Why people hate the word ‘moist’
  • Why the Knicks can’t get it together
  • Leftovers
  • Why people eat from food carts on the street
  • Why shoelaces won’t stay tied
  • Why PCs are still popular
  • Why people watch golf
  • Why people play golf

Speaking of which, I wouldn’t recommend having your bachelor’s party on a golf course if you at all value your safety.  It could be dangerous.  There are a handful of angry seniors passing their excessive spare time on the golf course who have absolutely no patience for your unexperienced asses. Come back in fifty years, please.

This is essentially what happened recently in Florida (where else???) when two men berated and attacked a group of guys celebrating a buddys’ impending nuptials.

So maybe they were a little tipsy (the bachelors)…and maybe they were newish to golf…but they were just playing a leisurely game, trying to enjoy the day and their friends’ last moments of freedom.

Is it so much to ask for??

Apparently, YES.  A group of older-folk were behind the young bachelors, getting increasingly tizzied (is that a word?) at how slow the guys were playing.  One of them, bold and brave James Alonzo Hines (61 yrs), took charge.  He rammed his golf cart into the group of guys, and smashed them over the head with his club.  He proceeded to demand that they respect their elders.  Seriously.  That’s not just something old people say in movies.

If you ask me, it seems a little excessive.  I’m not really violent by nature (ignore my bout of MMA training), and I feel like it could have been okay to do any of the following:

  • Politely ask them to play faster
  • Meanly ask them to play faster
  • Shoot spitballs at them from the bushes
  • Skip that hole entirely and go around them (can you do that in non-mini golf? I don’t even know)
  • Ask them if they need help
  • Offer expertise and advice
  • Join parties for a rockin’ good golf time

    My kind of golf party.

Ok, the last one is a little suspect, because I can’t imagine having fun on the golf course.  But, it is what it is, as they say.  I’m still a little stuped on how such a slow, boring game could cause people to get aggravated because people are playing it slowly…and are most likely bored…but maybe one of you golf fans can answer that for me?

At least he didn’t attack a teenager,like these seniors did

Still though, it’s a little bananasss.  Take a breather, head back to the club house, have a brandy and a cigar, and relax, bro.

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