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#AllYouCanEat (Or “The Attack On Liberty”)

June 9, 2012

It’s not a secret.

Our rights as citizens of this democratic nation are being attacked on the daily…most importantly, against our natural-born right to terrible food.

If you’ve read my posts…you know I simply cannot help myself when it comes to fast food news stories.  It’s always soooo bananasss to see just how cray people get over fast food…but, you know, I completely understand.  It is, after all, our right to destroy our bodies, and how dare anyone get in the way of that.  If I want 10 Whoppers, I’m gonna eat 10 Whoppers, and I’m gonna accompany those 10 Whoppers with 10 orders of fries and a soda the size of my recommended weekly consumption of water (and calories)(well, not me, because I’m vegetarian, but hypothetically).

Now, if there’s anything I’ve learned since I started this blog, it’s that I can always count on the south or the midwest for the most titillating and outrageous news stories.  Always.  Good old Bill Wisth, a 6’6″ 350-lb man from Thiensville, Wisconsin, was kind enough not to let me down (thank you, Bill – it’s people like you who keep me writing).

Billyboy is a man to be respected, because he stood his ground against the tyrants that run this country and infringe upon our liberties.  Or, at least, against a small fast-food seafood place in his hometown.  But you have to start small, and dream big.

So what happened?  Well, this downright dictatorial restaurant, Chuck’s Fryclaimed to offer its customers an amazing all-you-can-eat experience.  BOY WAS THAT A LIE.

After 12 pieces of fish fry (to be honest, I’m not even sure what that IS), Chuck’s cut Billyboy off.  CAN YOU IMAGINE?  I MEAN, I CAN’T. 

Billyboy got upset, naturally.  After making a fuss, the restaurant gave him 8 more pieces of fish fry (FYI we’re now at a total of 20 pieces of this mystery fish fry (seriously can someone tell me what it is?)) and sent him on his way.  BUT DO YOU THINK BILLYBOY WAS SATISFIED?  NO!!!!!

Heck, he exercised his rights as an overeating American citizen, and he picketed outside Chuck’s in protest.   “I think that people have to stand up for consumers,” Billyboy said.  And he stands by it – he claims he’s going to come out and picket every Sunday until Chuck’s realizes its grave mistake.   Well – I sure hope he does (at the very least, it could get him some exercise to work off that all that fried fish).

Three bananasss for Chuck’s (which are secretly for Billyboy because he’s a wee bit crazy) for refusing Billyboy his right to a heart attack.

Tune in later for more appalling food-trocities.

Bunches of bisous and bananasss,

That’s Bananasss

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